Living Childhood Fantasy - Who Am I?

One of my all time favorite cartoons growing up was Inspector Gadget. I was fascinated by the way he talked. I'm not sure where he was suppose to be from but his geeky, inspectorish accent kept my attention. I crack up laughing when my mom tells stories about how we use to be so mesmerized when watching television. In any given episode outside of all the inspectors gadgets what I couldn't wait for was his niece Penny to come to her uncles resuce with her computer book and her dog. She'd whip out that book and get to finding out this and intercepting that. It was so cool. I wanted one of those books so bad. I would take a colorful book in the house, at one time an encyclopedia, and puch the paper with my fingers like I was punching computer keys. The glossy paper and the colorful graphics made me feel like I had the real thing... Not really, fore I would only play for a second but still! Now I am in my 30s and I have that computer book, my iPad. I don't use it nearly as much as I thought I would but I have time and there is so much potential with my 'computer book'. I bought a cool case, so I really feel like her. I don't like to hear the sound of they keys when I tap them so I turn that option off. But I always smile when I enter my password to access my iPad world. I'm living one of my childhood fantasies, I am Penny, Inspector Gadgets niece. Cool!

I caught a bug

Today I'm sitting at my desk at work, hacking and snotting the morning away. I am sick! I'm going on vacation in three days and I am sick. "Where they do that at?!" I'm sitting here in a nice new dress, no hosiery, and its cold in my office. I'm getting a headache and my headache medicine is at home, I'm pretty much in a sucky position right now. Chuggin down the last bit of my med  hot Caramel Mocha from Micky D's. Why do they always ask, "Do you want it hot or cold?" That crap bothers me, I want to reply "Did I say iced????!" Guess they don't have the whole latte business lingo under their belt yet. Any who, I spent Sunday - Tuesday full off liquids and high off meds and I still can't kick the cold. I haven't been had a cold in a few years and when I did feel something coming on id follow the above mentioned regimen and I'd be cured. Not the case this time. My supervisor thinks she gave me her cold.... now that I think about it, she probably did! According to the schedule in my mind I'm suppose to be fully packed today, instead I have a few choice items draped on top of my suitcase, I am something else. I look forward to getting a tan and evening out this skin complexion.

The Truth of the Matter

I haven't written in quite sometime. Truthfully because I haven't worked out. Aint nothing like the new season of the Biggest Loser to make you hate yourself. (Not really, but maybe a little.) Im totally rooting for the black team because I fall in that age group. But I totally relate to the red team. Im young, and overweight, and would probably would fill out a 28 page health form saying im totally healthy despite a few clinches in my need every now and again, just to find out im the unhealties on the ranch. I felt Ramon's pain. I will NEVER put my weight out on this blog, but it aint pretty. I wanna be healthy for me. Not anybody else, but me. Time to get re-motivated.

Chatting about the Q Dogs

So the Ques were in town this week. Omega Psi Phi celebrated 100 years as a historically black fraternity. I had a flash back to college days. I would visist a few colleges and attend parties and the frats and soros were always representing. I always wanted to be a Delta, I felt that organization fit my personality. Anywho, when I learned the fellas were going to invade the city I was very excited to make their arrival. I came downtown and drove around the city Saturday nite to take in all the maddness. Purple shirts on black men every where. :) I really wish I had picked up my girls and just chilled in one of the hotel lobbies with my video camera to capture the maddness. Instead I watched it from my car as I drove around and ate my Reese McFlurry (Ill stick to Oreo, there is just something about chocolate and peanut butter with ice cream that doens't float my boat, no matter how hard I try.). They romed the streets, and ignored all no turns signs everywhere. DC was a big college campus that weekend. When I rode by my job a bunch of older Ques were outside the building singing and finished with loud barking. Some people in their cars were looking really scared and concerned, I loved every minute of it. I watched a YouTube video of them at a party where they played Atomic Dog. Maddness!!! That party was Thrusday night and right down the street from my job. It was too close for me not to be there, but I wasn't. I wish I was there to experience it all. I hope the city treated them right and they didn't get in too much trouble. Congrats on 100 years fellas.

Robots in Disguise

I feel like a transformer. When I get up and down I move real robotic like. Manuving each joint one at at time. Im not dancing either. Im in pain. This morning, day two of returning to bootcamp, we did cardio, which consist of skipping, and hopping and a running and twisting and sprinting and more sprinting.  After an intense work out, I seem to move at the speed of a snapping turtle. I said I wasn't going to tell anyone that I was working out this time around, but when Im moving like the tin man from the wiz and grunt like I need an oil can to my joints I feel the need to explain. My coworker isn't asking any questions, she thinks Im just crabby from my cycle. I can play that off for the rest of the week, but what about next week. Hopefully I will have loosened up a bit, this stage is no fun. This time around Im eating right in conjunction with working out. I hope to drop drop drop. My sister keeps saying that its 80% what you eat and 20% activity. We'll see.

Back to Sq1....Again

Today, today, today... Im tired. I quit bootcamp a while back. I had a lot of deadlines at work and felt I needed to get into work by 7 for two weeks to complete those tasks and I also had a business trip. My two week hiatus turned into a six week hot messitude, im back now. But I feel like im back at square one.  When I left bootcamp my arms and shoulders were shaping up real nice, my pot in my belly was melting and everyone was geekin because I was a push-up machine... I could barely do those this morning.  We did inch worms this morning DA HORROR. (Im glad we're not being video taped - I can only imagine how I looked, booty in the air, mean wedgie I just couldn't reach and then collapsing on the ground, repeat) I was moved to tears behind those things. I think part of my problem was lack of energy because of my menstrual cycle - day 3. I usually skip my work out the week of my cycle for this very reason. This time I just had to get back out there, my health is waning at my tender age and it scares me because I know I am 100% the problem. My goal is to make it out every day this week. I am proud of myself for getting up at 445 and meeting the team despite my current menstrual state. I am ashamed Ive let all my progress leave me, but I will get there again. Its time!

Which first - Shoes or Outfit??

So this is what happened. Summer came. I didn't have any decent shoes. I was depressed because I have large feet and its hard to find shoes. I searched high and low and nothing. I went to Nine West and in one weekend bought 5 pairs of shoes. All shoe divas can understand. I usually divert my obsessions to other things cuz beautiful shoes are so dog on hard to find, normally hair, but I digress. So Im going to a three day convention THIS WEEKEND and I want to look like the cover model for Effortless Fiyah magazine. The Plan. So now that I had these fabu shoes I wanted to locate outfits around the shoes. But this weekend I went shopping and bought 1.5 outfits that go with none of the shoes I have. ?!? "Its amazing..." The Verdict. Take the baby doll blue seersucker dress back to Nordstrom because it does nothing for my swag once I got it home and GET AN OUTFIT OR TWO TO COMPLIMENT MY SHOES! I REALLY hate returning items to the store, but I came up off too much bread to not wear that cutsy dress.

Music on My Mind

There are several songs I can't get out of my head. Who Runs the World-Girls by Beyonce, The Time by Black Eyed peas, and something else by Ricky Rozza. I must download today, everything but the Rick Roza. Those songs that call women out their name and talk about sex in the most provocative way are not a good look. They may have a catchy beat, but you wont catch me paying for it.

Oh yeah, one more, my girl Jill Scott - The Light of the Sun. Im looking forward to this album because she said it's REALLY a representation of her. Her last album turned me off so much. The album seem to be only about her falling on the wrong side of love and doing "anything" to make it right. It was sad actually. So I look forward to hearing this new sound. She has a beautiful voice. I hope I'm won over again.

"Feel Good" Feeling

Im in a good space this morning. My hair is all over the place, one of my favorite dresses has shrunk a bit and shows my thighs in a not so flattering way, and I had to wake up early to get to work by 7. All those tings are usually ingredients that make up a "bad hair day" but Im feeling great.

I like this feeling :)

Pandora was on point

Operation Boopiece Update:

About a week ago I took the matter in my own hands and I put it on the line, "im interested in u" were not my exact words but the gist of them. Today I found out I got shot down. I feel some kinda way about it. I dont know any details about the matter, my third party accomplice informed me of the verdict. I was in my feelings a little and then the weirdest thing happened. Pandora played, " It feels so good loving somebody when somebody loves you back, and that a fact." I just looked at the radio and glared. HOW DID MR GNOME KNOW! :\

Any who,  its all good. I really didn't know the gentleman, I had been peeping him for some time from afar.  I just wanted to get to know him, he seemed iight. Before putting it on the line, I pray for something specific in the matter and got exactly that, so I appreciate my God for that.

Mr. Gnome, please play On To The Next for me. Thank ya kindly.

Two days shy

So im two days shy of when I said I would report back - my apologies. As far as bootcamp goes I've taken a three week haitus. My goal is to work out in the interim so I wont be back to square one when I return. I feel like Oprah during the yo-yo days. My stomach is bloated very much these days.... idk why.  I have a friend who is only doing fish and she said she notice her pooch is not on swole  any more. Is there something in the chicken and beef???? Probably, whats a girl to do. Keep ya swag on 100% regardless of what ya feel like and no one will eva know! Big girl with swag is more appealing than yellow model chick with low self-esteem.

Im currently in the midst of OPERATION GRANDCHILD. There is no way this can be a covert operation because people got to know or it wont go down. Operation Grandchild is contingent on OPERATION BOOPIECE aka OPERATION PUT A RING ON IT. So im accepting applications  - only qualified applicants need apply. :)

Humidity Overwhelmes Me

OMG, this weekend was full of good times with great friends! I got depressed last night though at the thought of having to get up at 430 to be ready to workout at 530 in all that humidity. You'd be suprised at how humid it is that time of morning. I've been slacking on my workout, only going one day a week, one week I didn't go at all. Inorder to not waste my money and fulfil my committment, I have to go everyday for the rest of this week. Which means going on Thursday, lower body workout day... I hate that day. I want buns of steel, but my knees hurt like heck trying to achieve them. Guess Ill have to overdose on water and take an extra dose of fish oil to lub my joints so come Thursday Ima well oiled machine. Ill be sure to report on Friday how it all went.

This is how I feel about the DMV humidity.

Hating what you "love". Its worth the effort.

Yesterday I was asked "Do I hate lawlessness?" which simply put is sin.  I've been asked that before and my answer was no, I don't hate it. After being asked yesterday, my actions show that my answer is still no, I don't hate it. I can honestly say I want to hate it though. As I reflected on the material, it was kind of interesting because I can honestly say I hate some things, like alcoholilsm, being a drunk aint cute and it isn't fasinating to me so I can "easily" be like, sure I hate that. Some other things though, like hating lawlessness when it comes to immorality, especially through entertainment, tv, movies, and music. That's my vice right there. Im sure everyone could personally relate to at least one subheading in the article. That one was mine. I love Jehovah for not only telling us what he he doesn't like, but also by giving us an opportunity to correct it and give us examples for ways we can follow it. Being Christlike isnt easy. Its worth the effort! I use to be into music like crazy, but I have made some strides in getting rid of certain music or songs, but eventually they creep back on my playlists. I appreciate the reminders to 'get rid of them' again. So I will be acting fast, going through my music today and deleting 82.5% of my songs. Its worth the effort - my life is involved. ill just have to expand my musical taste.

Just polished off a bacon cheese burger with fries...

How my day began...
I woke up at 430 on the nose to get ready for bootcamp. Wednesdays are run/walk days. I dressed and was headed out the door with mp3 player in hand. I made it to the site with 5 minutes to spare. When my instructor saw me, she gave me a big ol hug. I had been MIA for 3 sessions. After the warm up we ran/walked our route. I improved since the last time. This time I jogged more, Im not sure if it was the music or what. Im due to come on my cycle next week, so im feeling very sluggish, but was kinda proud of myself. Oh yeah, and my workout partner decided to stay in so I felt kinda really good about going out by myself too.

The dress I decided to wear today is the epitome (thank you merriam-webster.com) of a summer dress, and I have on platform sandles, AND my toes are polshed a candy colored pink! I think they're cute. My dress makes me look preggo, but im cool with that.

I decided to go to Weight Watchers on my lunch break, hoping for at least a 5 pound loss since Im moderatly working out and putting some effort into what I eat.... Instead I have a 3.8 gain. I hate how the woman who took my weight didn't look at me in the face while maintaining a nervous cheerful tone. When I walked in she made me feel like a movie star, when she handed me my 3.8 gain, I felt kinda like a werido. I stayed for the meeting that focused on tracking. Exactly what I needed! The leader of meeting talked in a weird circus voice. I hated her voice. She also had call and response sayings that everyone knew and seemed to loved. I wouldn't be suprised if she really use to work for the circus. When I left out the meeting, I went and got me a bacon cheeseburger with fries from Soho. I feel a little victory that I didn't stop off at the vendor outside and get a oatmeal cream pie. Those things are fantastic to me. My mind set is that I will start tomorrow with tracking and doing a "on purpose good effort".

Stay tuned for "I Love My Belly and NO, Im not pregnant!"

Beautiful Cool Down

I made it through one week of Bootcamp! I signed up for three days a week and dragged myself out of bed three mornings.  Wednesday was Run Day. So we ran for 40 minutes. I walked at a semi-rapid pace... I'll do better next time.  Today we worked our arms - I did pretty good with my 10 pounds weights. The most beautiful part of the workout was the cool down.  Have you ever watched an artist take a brush, apply several colors and then paint perfect petals on roses, alpines on mountains, or clouds in the sky?? As we all lay on the cold sidewalk reaching for our toes in order to get a good shoulder and calf stretch (i'm still working on reaching my toes) you couldn't help but focus your eyes on the magnificent art work in the sky. They sky is so amazingly beautiful as the sun begins to rise in the morning. I immediately began to speak to the artist and thank him for such a beautiful sight. Amongst other things swirling around my mind, reflecting during the cool down really made me want to push myself more. The pain or struggle we endure for the 50 minutes of intense workout is a memory when we're cooling down and able to gaze upon such beauty. And the stretch means so much more when you've put your all into... I could totally turn that reflection into another very meaningful parallel, BUUTTT ill save that for another day.  When I got home I prepared my protein breakfast as I got ready to head out to the office. I don't know if it was the brown plate or the fact that I haven't had spinach in a while but my breakfast looked very appetizing in a healthy sort of way.

This week of bootcamp was: GOOD FOR ME!

i don't do it for the man... man never notice.

Today was the first day of BOOTCAMP. 530AM BOOTCAMP! I survived. To prepare I started back on Fish Oil capsules last week, and I can feel the difference! No painful knees. Today our fitness levels were assessed via push-up, planks, and sprints. The sprints I think i did pretty well - 31 seconds was my best lap. The push-ups & planks were medicore. I came home boiled me three eggs and ate the whites along with some chicken breast. When I came into the office I got me a poptart... I can't lie. Ill work on eliminating that poptart business very soon. Im very sleepy now and its only 10am, but im not in my usual pain. That is fantastic. I look forward to going for the gusto this month, and then again till I see some major results. My lunch will be a salad, since I didn't get my vegetable this morning. It was a nice brisk moring. I really enjoyed myself and the ladies are very refreshing in the morning with their wit. Three days a week, here I come!

This morning's bootcamp experience was: REFRESHING!

Weekend of Sanity

Weekend of sanity. I truly believe that everything in life revolves around the menstrual cycle. In a month you got four weeks. Week one: Pre-Menstrual cramps. Week two: "Period" (aka: cycle, aunt flo, master p, the list goes on) Week three: Post-Menstrual Symptions. Week four: Sanity! If things happen to fall in your week of sanity good for those things. As for those other three weeks... let the chips fall as they may.

Saturday, my day was suppose to be Spring Trend Show, Shred Event, Ministry, Bridal Shower, Trendshow Make-Over, Formal Meeting. Out of all the things I was "suppose" to do, I only made it to the trendshow and the bridal shower. Everything went longer than expected.  I didn't beat myself up about it though. The show was great. The usual host was shadowing the woman who was taking over for her. I miss Jules already. She was so natural and honest with all her reactions. The new girl was trying a lil too hard. I hope she finds her own way soon. Two of the people I went with won gifts. They were uber excited. The second bridal shower for my friend was this weekend. It was at a Japanese steak house just like the one we hosted the prevous week. They played what seemed like 400 games. Whew! She got a lot of love tho, and that is all that matters in the end. I loved the cake too. Yum!

Sunday, I went to the meeting where they talked about seeing dead loved one again in the future and marriage. I thought about my grandmother Addie, my father Larry, and a family friend Ralphael. One lady was crying of the loss of her mom about a year ago. When those tears are replace with tears of joy it will indeed be a happy time. Her honest hurtful feelings made me sad too. I wanted to cry with her. The WT on marriage is a good one. We must respect the giver of marriage. I hope to one day be able to date with that view. I think... I delivered MaryKay to two clients after the meeting and then helped my friend pack for her honeymoon. It was a most enjoyable time. We've been having some tough moments through this whole engagment process it was nice to be back to two girls just chilling.

My next two weekends are full with wedding agenda stuff. April is dedicated to the ministry. Who know what the rest of the year will bring. Hopefully more great weekends full of sanity.

Antsy

One of my new things for the new year, not a resolution, but new thing for the new year was to write more. Be it journal or blog. As they say on the social networks, its been an #epicfail. Writing has never really been my thing. Just like drawing has never been my thing. But at one time I set aside time and taught myself. I did pretty decent. I even got an order I need to fill for a painting, when I get in the mood of course. I think I am a closet lazy person. Not on the surface, but in the closet.Why? Because I don't think I come off lazy, I don't think... But none of my goals for the year I have come close to accomplishing, its like I didn't even make them. Well I have shrunk back on my photography, but I haven't increased my writing, reading the good book, working out, eating right, etc, etc...

Let me shrink my self.

Am I a failure?
NO. By no means. I do a lot of other things.

Why are you not working towards reaching your goals?
I'm not motivated, I guess.

No guessing.
Ok. Im not motivated. I think Im decent. I don't love my weight, but I don't hate myself either, even if I am tipping the scale something aweful. I don't REALLY feel I need to improve my eating habit. Although I get a slight case of the jitters every now and again. Im calling the doc today... I hate the doc by the way. They practice and give out hypothesis, educated GUESSES. I hate they guess with my life. Yesterday i had an urge to get back to writing down what i eat... but this morning I didn't make the time to do so. I really want to step foot for the first time since joining into planet fitness today and also go to my weight watchers meeting today...

I need to call back a client for some wedding photography this Thursday, talk about last minute. Also I need to call my co-workers husband about doing his website. I am going to decline, because webdesign is too time consuming. I need to get the guts to call and decline, this meeting has been years in the making. Im headed out to get some meds for my jinormous headache, but before I do that I am going to call for a check up with the hypothesis lady.

bye for now.

I don't want this to turn into

a blog where I only woe about weight. So today i am going to talk about WATER.

Water is one of Earths natural resources. This morning there was a  Earth's natural resource main break. I woke up at 530 to shower (due to wakig up at 5am for PILATES CHALLENGE Week). The toilet flushed weird, I monitored it to see was it about to explode, but no. The facut water was the next eye brow raiser. Hot water spicket was spuing very little, cold a little better. The kicker was the shower, not much at all, but enough for me to hit the main spots with warm water; very grateful. When it was time to leave the house for good, the water was down to a trickle. I feel for those who hadn't waken yet to get their days started. We sooo take things like water from the facut for granted.

Random Earth Natural Resource Thought:

Yes, we have to pay for water, but we have to pay for oil too and that is a natural resource. The only one most (minus those oxygen tank people) of us don't have to pay for is air, but guarantee if there is a way to charge people for it, they will.

Goals on the Fence

"Im going to accomplish all my goals this year! Lose weight, scale back on my hobbies, journal, and put the more important things first."... That was the vigor I HAD at the beginning of this year. Its gone. If I have a REAL TALK session with myself I was probably fakin even when I thought I made those goals with vigor and honesty.  Im addicted to Greene's homeade vanilla ice cream - Im paying for Weight Watchers and not using it. I am not motivated to work out - I joined the gym for motivation and havne't been back since I signed up. I just ate some bonified chicken a two piece mild white meat with a biscut, strawberry jelly, and mashed potatoes - one of my favorite bloggers mentioned it on facebook today and that is what started the craving. She has no idea the the advertising she did, (maybe she do, she is a physco therapist. I frequet her natural hair blog, not her physco blog, fyi) I wonder how many people got some chicken just because she mentioned it. This weekend a very motivating statement was made, "if you don't make goals for yourself, someone else will make them for."  But I do have goals...Every week I reaffirm my goals, but one day into the week and im done.

When I joined Weight Watchers one of the options you can check is to have someone call you to encourage you. I always check that box, (I've rejoined too many times.) and no one has ever called. A little encouragment from someone other than my sister and my mom, who always seem to nag would be nice.

If you're reading this and you would like some encouragement from a stranger, Ill be that one. Drop me a line on what you could use a boost phone call for and we'll try it. Nothing freaky!

Im getting back on track today!