Self-deprivation.

"They" say the children of this generation won't be able to write when they get older because all we do is text and type. So in an effort not be an old woman who done lost her handwriting abilities, I write down my thoughts now. Feels kinda good too. Sometimes I can't stop. I like my handwriting very much and I write very exaggerated because nobody has to read it but me.

Any who.... I don't do well with self-deprivation. I'm learning this interesting trait in myself... If its in my reach and I can get it, its mine! With that being said I'm putting myself on a financial fast. I'm not going to use any credit cards and stay within my budget. I acutally paid a finacial planner to hook a sister up with a plan and I have the nerve, not to follow it. Another waste of my hard earned money.  I'm blowing through my savings for dumb stuff like hair and skates and other non-essential JUNK! This ish cray! I've got to gain control ASAP ROCKY. August starts 'Get Your Life' productions. I get paid at the beginning of the month and I have no big money commitments so this will be a swell time to get it together.

Jotting it down.

Marriage. Cardio. Squats & Crunches. Hair. Fashion. Skirts, dresses, jeans, and t-shirts. Strips! Big blue and white ones. Printed jeans adorning newly squatted buns and flat belly. Big hair. Friends and functions. Working too hard. Roller skating! Feeling the music. Not afraid to fall, but don't want to fall. Too big. Red lipstick. Kate Von D not Ri Ri Woo. Paying my vow. Zealous minister. Mind over matter. Faithfulness and honesty. My Father. Boyfriends, cuddles, kisses. Serious conversations, disagreements, no yelling. No more bacon. They're trying to kill us with food.

Its a lifestyle change...

So yeah basically I worked out every day last week and weighed in when I was on my cycle and thought I was going to lose crazy weight and only lost .6. That's that bull crap right there. Yes you may say its only been a week and your eating habits prob weren't up to snuff and all that good stuff and you'd probably be right but still. I've never worked out every day of any week in my life in the humid heat. I wanted to lose at least 7 lbs. I'm not majorly disappointed tho. I realize this is a lifestyle change and I have to keep at it for my health. So that is what I shall do. *guzzles water*.

A lady I graduated from high school with just died from pancreatic cancer. That news hurt my heart. For many different reasons. When I found out I researched it and of course they don't know what causes it outside of smoking. I'm not sure if she smoked, but I  believe she did. I'm sure thats not the only cause of it tho. I hope to see her again in paradise, she was a cool lady with loads of style.

I could ramble about a whole lot of things but I'll shut if down for now.

Take care!